Essence of Irwin Film

Skyhawks vs Pinkerton


Authored by: Millie Gurdy
Dictated to her niece: Jasmine Denise Ebo

My name is Millie Gurdy, and I’m the sole proprietor of Millie’s, the original downtown dining establishment in Irwin, Texas. I’m supposed to explain to y’all what this film called The Essence of Irwin is about.

So a while back we had a filming crew come to Irwin. They went all over town with their camera getting footage on the town and near about everyone who lives here. They got all of us at Millie’s and the other restaurant, too. They got the town council meeting. They got Hugabelle—and she got one of them’s watch.


They got those kooks out in the woods. They got more of Meg Roberta than they’d know what to do with, and they got her “husband,” too. They got the KinderKids (more like vice-versa) on cookie-making day. Plus they got Virgil, who would have been enough for about 6 films all by himself.

People were a bit suspicious when they first came here, and we all had our guesses as to why they were here, but, really, even they didn’t even know why they were here. All anyone knew was that an ad firm out of Chicago had hired them to come down here and document us for a “top secret” campaign that they had tied to the town. I note: As anybody who’s ever been to Irwin could tell you, there is no way that any big company would want to base an ad on this town unless there was something fundamentally flawed about their motives or their brain.

Councilman Rhimes assured us the filmers were “good people doing good for Irwin.” I’ve met both of them, several times, and I’d agree: they are good people. But…

Anyway, by the end of the week we’d gone so far as to put a parade on for them, and I know by the time they left they were on no less than Cloud 11 or 12. They loved Irwin, I truly believe they did. And I know it hurt them, too, when they found out what that big company did with their filming. Hell, when the companies came back to town to give us their huge “world premiere” party in our gymnasium, them filmers came back, too—and on their own dime—to film again. So they got all that on tape, which must have made it even worse.

But back to their visit being “good for Irwin”? Well, I guess some good did ultimately come of it. At least they had the sense to copy all their material before they sent it on to the ad firm. That’s what made it possible for us and them to make this movie. This movie is the real story of what happened to our town: how we turned something wrong into something right. And I personally can’t wait for America to hear it!


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